I am a 46-year-old woman with a six-year-old child, a three-year-old child, and a three-month-old child. My first child’s birth was not my first time in a delivery room, though. I am an Ob-Gyn who had been in hundreds of delivery rooms before I was checked in under my own name. I am also a fertility specialist who has helped thousands of other women get pregnant before I admitted that I was a specialist who needed a specialist.
Even fertility doctors can have a hard time conceiving. No matter how much help we give other people, like all human beings, sometimes we have to ask for help too.
Consider also that I was doing everything “right” sure I was in my late thirties when my partner and I started trying to have a baby. But I also felt young, and I am a healthy woman who exercises, eats well, and takes care of myself. It should have been easy, right? Not so much. After many months of trying, we realized that it wasn’t happening.
It became harder to be around happy moms with their beautiful kids. That was something my patients often expressed when they first visited me, and here I was, having similar thoughts.
If they could do it, why not me? So I gave myself the advice I’ve given countless friends in similar situations: go see a specialist.
My doctor told me what I had told so many women: getting pregnant at age 39 can be tricky. And even though I already knew that as a fact, coming from my doctor, it still made me feel better.
Sometimes women who come to see me are shocked to learn how difficult it can sometimes be to get pregnant in their late and sometimes mid-thirties. This is in part because the media too often highlights celebrities who get pregnant in their 40s and 50s which lets us draw the incorrect conclusion that this is the norm. What is not advertised though is that women conceiving in their late 40s and 50s usually conceived with the eggs of younger women rather than their own.
Some women want to conceive faster than they are able to do so on their own. Some women have their potential pregnancies tested before conception in order to increase the chance that they will give birth to a healthy baby.
Some women want to use donor sperm to conceive either because they are in a same-sex relationship, because their husbands cannot donate, or because they want to be single moms.
A young and healthy woman who wants kids “one day” may consider visiting a fertility specialist to check on her eggs' status. If you have a good and healthy egg supply then you may feel comfortable waiting and seeing.
On the other hand, if you are running out of eggs faster than would be predicted based on your age, you may want to make a decision earlier. A fertility specialist can help figure this out using blood tests and ultrasound.
Technology today also gives you choices your mother and grandmother never had. For instance, you may want to freeze your eggs. This would allow you to use those eggs one day in the future if you happen to have trouble conceiving down the road.
For me, deciding after a very emotionally difficult period of time to take some of my own medicine was the best thing I ever did. I saw a specialist and was treated for infertility. After a few bumps in the road, I gave birth six years ago to a little baby girl who has brought more joy to my life than I could have ever imagined was possible. I often thank her for coming into this world and making me a mommy. Since then I had my second IVF baby three years ago and my third IVF baby four months ago.
So, should women eat healthily and stay fit and decrease their stress? Absolutely! That will only increase the chance that a woman’s body will be able to house a happy, healthy, and growing baby one day. But sometimes we just need some expert, outside help.
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Note: This is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Information provided is for general educational purposes only and is subject to change without notice. Speak to your doctor directly with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Any information contained herein does not replace any care plan as determined by a physician.
¹Birth rate percentage using aggregate data from ALL age groups on the Live Births Per Intended Egg Retrieval (ALL EMBRYO TRANSFERS) of Patient's Own Eggs chart for 2020. Reference: PFCLA SART | NATIONAL SART
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