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What Makes For An Ideal Surrogate

By Taylor Frey on March 13, 2018

  

 Deciding on the woman you want to carry your child for you is a serious decision. There are many factors to consider when choosing the vessel through which you will have a child because of the amount of responsibility she will bear during the journey. 

Women with humanitarian motives to help another couple are compassionate and filled with dignity. While a woman who wants to help another couple have a child is certainly a generous one, there are a few specifications to help you decide if she's the perfect fit. The woman must be in great health and live in an environment that is free of stress to make the journey as easy as possible for all parties involved. 

From compassion to commitment, from age to pregnancy health history, here are a few things to consider when choosing your surrogate:

Consider the Age of A Surrogate 

To create an optimal atmosphere with the highest chances of having a healthy delivery of a baby without complications, a surrogate woman should be within her primary childbearing years. During a woman's primary childbearing years, a woman's body will take less of a toll during pregnancy. She will be able to recover at a quicker rate than those who have aged out of the prime years for having a child. 

Choosing a surrogate between the ages of 21-40 years old with an ideal BMI is going to set your pregnancy up for success. This gives you a surrogate that is in good health and is free of the potential risks that can have a negative effect on a developing fetus. Consider the age-related medical concerns that can accompany an older surrogate, like hypertension or preeclampsia which is common in older women. 

Your chosen carrier also needs to have a pristine health history.

Health History

Okay, so you've found a willing carrier who is absolutely excited about helping you along your journey. Perhaps she is even a friend of the family or an extended family member. It's important to consider her health history. You want a carrier who has given birth to a child previously without any complications. Take a look at her previous deliveries with documentation in prenatal and delivery records. 

A surrogate should be experienced in bearing children. You should also ensure the carrier has no history of criminal activity and lives a stable and responsible life. A health history that examines the surrogate from a mental and emotional standpoint is also important. You want a to choose a woman who is emotionally capable and prepared to bear your child, and then promptly give it to its parents with no reservations. As wonderful and willing to help you as she might be, a surrogate with any previous mental or emotional health problems is not a good candidate for this process.

Your surrogate should also have a history that is free from drug use or excessive alcohol use. 

Willingness

After you've picked your surrogate, you might assume that since she has signed up for this process, she will adhere to all of your wants and wishes. However, this is not always the case. 

You'll need a woman who demonstrates complete willingness when it comes to allowing the intended parents to make medical choices and be involved in the pregnancy/birthing experience. Find a carrier who is on the same page as you on the issues that are most important to you. It is essential to an overall positive experience to discuss these matters in-depth before agreeing to move forward on the journey. 

You'll also need a surrogate who is willing to take the hormone injections needed for getting pregnant with your child. She needs to be willing to keep appointments and be on time. She needs to be willing to adhere to the boundaries you've set not only for the 9 months in which you will be involved together but also for the life of the child after birth. 

Some parents want and welcome involvement with the surrogate after birth, others aren't as inclined. Find a carrier who is willing to make concessions and come to the perfect agreement. It will make all the difference in your process.

It's All About the Love

At the end of the day, this process is a beautiful journey which will help you grow your family.  Finding a surrogate with a big heart and capacity for love is important. You should feel that your chosen carrier has a deep desire to help you and your family. 

As you extend equal gratitude for one another throughout the process, you will create an atmosphere that is full of love and positive energy. This helps you, this helps her, and this helps your developing child. Though much of this process will involve contracts and certain amounts of business, it's important to remember that this is a woman who is here to help you fulfill your greatest wishes to have a child. 

For Your Consideration

By carefully considering these few tips, you will find the surrogate of your dreams. This can be a seamless, fulfilling process if you find the perfect fit for you, your partner, and your future child. Consider health history, age, willingness, and the connection you feel with her. Much of this process is in fact based on connection. 

For the rest of the process including the medical and fertility aspect, leave your journey only in the hands of the best there is. When you're ready to start your journey with the best fertility doctor in the field, contact us today.

 

 

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